Who am I?
I am one who loves the comfort of bed and the first smile of the day as you lay there thinking of what you dreamed of. I am one who loves the taste of good cup of coffee that has been uniquely made and crafted with me in mind. I am one loves a good book and a cup of tea on a cold or rainy day. I am one who loves the heat of the summer, the colors of the fall, the snow and spirit of winter, and the rain and new life of spring. I am one who loves great talks, randomness that is the r to the and to the om of randomness. I am one who loves family, and the smiles and simple days and times of kids. I am one who loves porch swings or old rockers and the smell of a fire in the fire place as you watch a classic movie, or the fire that burns at a bonfire that entails friends and hay rides. I am one who likes purses and the sound and majesticness of the ocean or beauty of a body of water, the tree outside, and the flower that has just blossomed. I am the one who loves to learn and see people be all they were meant to be and to feel the love that only God can give. I am one who loves gazing at the stars as you lay on an old country road that twists and turns and leads to nowhere but somewhere. I am one who loves trucks and the spontaneous trips to nowhere with those who are nearest to you as you listen to the album of your life presently. I am one who loves to write, pray, speak, and listen. I am one who loves the thought of what life is to bring but the joy of everlasting youthfulness as I remember that youthfulness is all in the heart and the joy of being a child of God. I love the daily surprises of life whether up or down and the way God's hands is so evidently involved in and through out it all. I love traveling and flying high in the sky above the world which helps to give a new perspective to that which you know as your world. I love culture, meeting new people and making new friends and adding people to my family. I am complexly simple as I delight in the simple things...the smile of those around me and the lives that I know and have met along the way. I am one who loves colors especially blue. I am one who as resistance as I may seem, my heart is given in a moment as compassion overwhelms me for each person God brings into my life. I am one who loves a good game of football, watching basketball, and partaking in a little healthy competition. I am one who loves a good workout and the taste of a chocolate treat. I am one who loves to sing and to be alone with my Beloved. I am one who values every moment and cherishes those in my life. So who am I? I am one that is complexly simple, simplistically complex as a child who trys to love without holding back...
Written: September 4, 2010
Saturday, September 4, 2010
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
To the point of consummation
Tonight my heart began to break. This intensity to the point of consummation. Pain, utter pain, filled me as I felt like my heart within me was failing. I begun to question immediately, "why Lord? Give me clarity as to why I feel this intense pain?" No answer came, but that of stillness....I continued to question, interceded in the Spirit, and bowed low before the King, to only have the pain increase. I made a call and begun to talk, sharing the burdens of the last 24 hours of my life, and how there is such a bondage on our youth of today concerning hopelessness, that life is not worth it...of suicide.
The enemy is lying and trying to steal and kill our children's lives. He is telling them that they are worthless, that they are unloved, that there forever isn't much past tomorrow. They are led by emotions, hurt, pain as that which they look for...love...is often shattered before them as they give their hearts to temporary things. Imagination, lusts and extreme pain is prevalent in today's culture but is masked by an 'I know' attitude or a hardness. They have been captivated...but by that which is only lies. So many are hurting, so many are searching, and looking, thinking that all they can depend upon is themselves and that when this fails...when they fail, that life itself is over. There vision has become obscured and blinded as tomorrow is not seen from their beautiful eyes.
As this pain continued to seize me, I realized that what I was feeling was only in slight comparison to that which God feels towards us. That every time we sin, choose against Him, give up the fight...that His heart breaks. Overwhelmed and compassionate He yearns to give us more but because of our own futileness we choose a different road. Which only hurts ourselves and pains His heart. His life, His love is so immense that at the thought of you, that which is infinite, is overtaken.
If only we realized the depth of His love for us, the power of His truth, and the life behind the gift He bestowed upon us. If only we could see past our own blindness for a moment to something bigger and grander than what we ever could even imagine. There are so many who are down and depressed, who in the eyes of those around them have it all together, but deep inside are falling apart, lost. That suicide is not just temporary answer to a temporary problem but is a lasting option to a temporary, momentary problem. That there are better answers to temporary problems. If only we broke through the lie that what you are feeling is not important, but that YOU are important. That you are loved and deemed worthy! He has called you and chosen you! That He has known you before you were even formed in your mothers womb. That He cares so much about what you are going through and desires so so much to be your comfort, the shoulder you lean on.
So my request, my challenge is be filled with Truth. Rise up and see the heart of your Father towards you and realize that there is a generation who is looking, seeking, and yearning. That if we don't tell and show them the love of Christ than someone else will show them a way that only leads them astray.
That you, my precious children, have a hope and a life, oh so worth living. That what you are feeling is normal, that you are not alone, that you will come out on the other side and be okay. So answer the call, count the cost, and turn! Turn to God for He cares and loves you. His heart is breaking for you!
**********************************************************
Suicide is a lasting action to temporary problems. Many have asked me if you commit suicide will you still enter Heaven if you are saved. Honestly, I don't know but a few things I do know is that:
1) God tells us to not have any other Gods before Him. If we commit suicide we are taking our lives into our hands and playing the role of God. We are saying that we don't trust the one who created us and we think we can do it better.
2)Our body is the temple of God the moment we accept Him. He tells us that we are to take care of our temple. If we commit harm to ourselves we are in reality destroying His temple. How is this pleasing to God?
3)We are called to fight the good fight. Suicide is a marker of giving up the fight. We as Christians have already been given the victory. We have already been called overcomers. We now just have to continue to place on our armor and fight until Jesus comes back once and for all. He never said it was going to be easy but with Him we would be strengthened, comforted, counseled, and so on. He has experienced or been tested in all ways known to man. If this is the case than He understands the emotions you feel, the longings within, the reality of your present moment. Let Him come in and take over, comforting you and helping you through it.
4)Suicide is selfish. We are told to love our neighbors as we love ourselves. All this is possible through our love for and from God. Obviously, with suicide a life is taken and many are left behind hurting and wondering why? Pain is caused. It is often said that hurt people hurt people and I guess this is seen through such an act. Though suicide may seem like a fix in reality all it does is leave more pain to those who do and have loved you.
5)Do not commit murder. Now there is a big debate as if suicide is seen as murder. Suicide is a finality to life and finality of death. You will never have another chance at this world again. Some in ethics view that if one has an eternal belief in life after death, than why not go ahead and take your life, so that you can be in the 'heaven' you confess in? However, this is not truth. God gives life and yes He has created a place for His people for all eternity. However, He has also chosen to give us-you and me-life today. This is not for our own purposes but so that we may come to know Him and His love for us and give Him glory in everything. When one commits suicide they are committing murder against the one who created them or gave them life, which is opposite of bringing glory to God because it is death. Yes, we should have a longing for the other side of eternity but as long as He chooses to give us life, we should be thankful and live for Him, no matter how hard or rough it may get at times. This takes dependence because we cannot do it ourselves ONLY with God's love, the price of Jesus Christs life and His word, and the Holy Spirit's guidance can we break free and move forward pass the temporary that is before us.
So this is my view on suicide. Though I may not know the eternal question, I do know that the word of God says that the importance of Salvation is right standing before God. Which only happens through repentance and confessing and accepting God's price for you. With suicide and the extreme finality of it, the mystery question still to be is: does this give you a chance to be made right before God? But to me this is and can continue to be a mystery because if one values life, fights the fight, and loves God then suicide is not even an option, so no answer needs to be given.
The enemy is lying and trying to steal and kill our children's lives. He is telling them that they are worthless, that they are unloved, that there forever isn't much past tomorrow. They are led by emotions, hurt, pain as that which they look for...love...is often shattered before them as they give their hearts to temporary things. Imagination, lusts and extreme pain is prevalent in today's culture but is masked by an 'I know' attitude or a hardness. They have been captivated...but by that which is only lies. So many are hurting, so many are searching, and looking, thinking that all they can depend upon is themselves and that when this fails...when they fail, that life itself is over. There vision has become obscured and blinded as tomorrow is not seen from their beautiful eyes.
As this pain continued to seize me, I realized that what I was feeling was only in slight comparison to that which God feels towards us. That every time we sin, choose against Him, give up the fight...that His heart breaks. Overwhelmed and compassionate He yearns to give us more but because of our own futileness we choose a different road. Which only hurts ourselves and pains His heart. His life, His love is so immense that at the thought of you, that which is infinite, is overtaken.
If only we realized the depth of His love for us, the power of His truth, and the life behind the gift He bestowed upon us. If only we could see past our own blindness for a moment to something bigger and grander than what we ever could even imagine. There are so many who are down and depressed, who in the eyes of those around them have it all together, but deep inside are falling apart, lost. That suicide is not just temporary answer to a temporary problem but is a lasting option to a temporary, momentary problem. That there are better answers to temporary problems. If only we broke through the lie that what you are feeling is not important, but that YOU are important. That you are loved and deemed worthy! He has called you and chosen you! That He has known you before you were even formed in your mothers womb. That He cares so much about what you are going through and desires so so much to be your comfort, the shoulder you lean on.
So my request, my challenge is be filled with Truth. Rise up and see the heart of your Father towards you and realize that there is a generation who is looking, seeking, and yearning. That if we don't tell and show them the love of Christ than someone else will show them a way that only leads them astray.
That you, my precious children, have a hope and a life, oh so worth living. That what you are feeling is normal, that you are not alone, that you will come out on the other side and be okay. So answer the call, count the cost, and turn! Turn to God for He cares and loves you. His heart is breaking for you!
**********************************************************
Suicide is a lasting action to temporary problems. Many have asked me if you commit suicide will you still enter Heaven if you are saved. Honestly, I don't know but a few things I do know is that:
1) God tells us to not have any other Gods before Him. If we commit suicide we are taking our lives into our hands and playing the role of God. We are saying that we don't trust the one who created us and we think we can do it better.
2)Our body is the temple of God the moment we accept Him. He tells us that we are to take care of our temple. If we commit harm to ourselves we are in reality destroying His temple. How is this pleasing to God?
3)We are called to fight the good fight. Suicide is a marker of giving up the fight. We as Christians have already been given the victory. We have already been called overcomers. We now just have to continue to place on our armor and fight until Jesus comes back once and for all. He never said it was going to be easy but with Him we would be strengthened, comforted, counseled, and so on. He has experienced or been tested in all ways known to man. If this is the case than He understands the emotions you feel, the longings within, the reality of your present moment. Let Him come in and take over, comforting you and helping you through it.
4)Suicide is selfish. We are told to love our neighbors as we love ourselves. All this is possible through our love for and from God. Obviously, with suicide a life is taken and many are left behind hurting and wondering why? Pain is caused. It is often said that hurt people hurt people and I guess this is seen through such an act. Though suicide may seem like a fix in reality all it does is leave more pain to those who do and have loved you.
5)Do not commit murder. Now there is a big debate as if suicide is seen as murder. Suicide is a finality to life and finality of death. You will never have another chance at this world again. Some in ethics view that if one has an eternal belief in life after death, than why not go ahead and take your life, so that you can be in the 'heaven' you confess in? However, this is not truth. God gives life and yes He has created a place for His people for all eternity. However, He has also chosen to give us-you and me-life today. This is not for our own purposes but so that we may come to know Him and His love for us and give Him glory in everything. When one commits suicide they are committing murder against the one who created them or gave them life, which is opposite of bringing glory to God because it is death. Yes, we should have a longing for the other side of eternity but as long as He chooses to give us life, we should be thankful and live for Him, no matter how hard or rough it may get at times. This takes dependence because we cannot do it ourselves ONLY with God's love, the price of Jesus Christs life and His word, and the Holy Spirit's guidance can we break free and move forward pass the temporary that is before us.
So this is my view on suicide. Though I may not know the eternal question, I do know that the word of God says that the importance of Salvation is right standing before God. Which only happens through repentance and confessing and accepting God's price for you. With suicide and the extreme finality of it, the mystery question still to be is: does this give you a chance to be made right before God? But to me this is and can continue to be a mystery because if one values life, fights the fight, and loves God then suicide is not even an option, so no answer needs to be given.
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